I have an overwhelming urge to clean. Well, not just clean, but completely throw almost everything I own into the trash. I am creating space. The space I came home to wasn't clear enough and I'm trying to make it clearer. At least it's warmer...Now that my land-lesbians have actually done something about the heat in this apartment.
This clutter-removal process has brought up some things in the few short hours it's been going on. Letters, notes you write to yourself to remind yourself about yourself; Pictures, some you took of yourself, but mostly by yourself of other selves to remind you of yourselves; Books, some you read, some you just made notes in the margins. When do you actually go back and re-read the margins? I do. I actually do. I think that makes me strange.
Something I found that everyone should read.
There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.
If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
nor how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
- Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.
If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
nor how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
- Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille
I think it's a great day to clean the house.
2 comments:
I got your message about this just in time. I was just about to sit down to some chinese food.
Cleaning. That is tomorrow's project. I bought all of the supplies today. The subletter moves out tomorrow and I will hard at scrubbing. I just cant get comfortable until its done. But its not just my apt I want to clean. I want to purge my life of unneccessary people. Say for instance....ummmm....ex's. Im done.
Im also done with the NYPD. I went through it today at the police station. No one knows what they are talking about. But Im going to keep on keeping on with this. I cant give up. Mutha Fuckers got my money.
4 in the morning....finally decided to help life along and make changes happen not just expect that i am some special child of God to whom things at one point will just arrive.....They can arrive while I am actively making myself better and happier....Cleaning from the inside out..I also might be unoriginal and start a blog might not let anyone read it but might need to write things down
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